Install Theme

Your web-browser is very outdated, and as such, this website may not display properly. Please consider upgrading to a modern, faster and more secure browser. Click here to do so.

Ex-Tabula Rasa

I shall try to define myself in a sentence with a pithy comment at the end:
I'm just an English bloke who lives in Canada after marrying a Canadian lady he met while living in Japan. Yeah, that old cliché.

Shameless Self-Promotion:
My utterly hilarious blog is here
And another one is here


Wow! I'm on Twitter now!
Averaging three stars a tweet since the death of Favrd!

Still Want More?
Email me for fun and frolics*! My address goes along the lines of Japanese (dot) smoth (@) gmail (dot) com. *Actual ratio of fun to frolics may vary.
Jul 19 '14
The usual member.

The usual member.

Jul 18 '14

She makes me laugh.

Last night, walking home from daycare, we were passed by an open-topped double-decker bus full of tourists, its outside painted bright red like one of its London counterparts.

"Oh my GOODNESS!" she cried from her stroller, "A firetruck! A firetruck with" - she started to giggle - "PEOPLE UP THERE!" She giggled more and more, "What people doing up there, Firetruck?"

I laughed, she laughed, the couple nearby laughed.

A house on our daily route to daycare has a small angel statue in the front garden. Throughout winter and early spring, she’d ask me to stop the stroller so she could see it. Then, as spring advanced, so did the flowers and bushes in the garden and when we stopped one day the angel was devoured by flora, away from sight.

"Where’s angel?" she asked me. I told her it was behind the bushes. "Angel is hiding," she said, thoughtfully. Then she laughed. "Silly angel!" Now every time we pass the house, we have a good laugh at the hiding angel. Sometimes she asks where the blue car is. If there’s no blue car nearby on the street, it’s hiding too. Silly blue car.

She loves trucks and Pooh Bear and fountains. She dances and jumps on the bed and sits in front of the fireplace and pretends to warm her hands. She hugs us and tells us she loves us and she does the same to Rabbit and Pyjama Bear and Plex Robot and it’s no less adorable. She recognises her name written down and can read most letters but she still gets 3 and E mixed up. She pretends to make food in the kitchen and if you ask her what she’s cooking she says “Couscous and hummus and crackers.”

It’s hard to believe we’ve known her a full two years - the length of time my wife and I spent in Japan, a length of time that felt like a lifetime.

And yet: It’s hard to believe we’ve only known her for two years, because it feels like we’ve known her forever.

Happy birthday Audrey. The last two years have been a blast, I can’t wait to see what the rest hold.

Jul 17 '14

Two years ago

It’s incredible to think, but two years ago to this moment, my wife was watching a terrible island-based dating show hosted by Jenny McCarthy, breathing heavily and bracing herself against a chair while I timed her contractions with an iPad app and made sure everything we needed was in her overnight bag.

I mean, really: only two years ago, Jenny McCarthy hosted another terrible dating show. Incredible.

Jul 17 '14
nevver:

Needs coffee, Robert C. Jackson

I’m feeling feelings

nevver:

Needs coffee, Robert C. Jackson


I’m feeling feelings

Jul 16 '14
Given the fact that her father is a ghostly disembodied head with satyr-like protruding ears and a gaze that screams “not entirely fully possessed of his faculties,” it’s quite a relief that Audrey takes a good passport photo.

Given the fact that her father is a ghostly disembodied head with satyr-like protruding ears and a gaze that screams “not entirely fully possessed of his faculties,” it’s quite a relief that Audrey takes a good passport photo.

Jul 11 '14
Crossing the river.

Crossing the river.

Jul 9 '14

You want to see smug?

Try being the atheist who just got to correct two loudly catholic coworkers on their understanding of the term ‘immaculate conception,’

Jul 8 '14

Tonight I learned my limit

My limit is the following:
One pint of Mons Belgian-style Dubbel
One small yet peaty Islay whisky
One large Cuban cigar

Jul 4 '14

goestoeleven:

I’m sure someone has already posted this.

But it needs to be posted a million times.

Happy birthday, America.

I’m reblogging this because it is literally my second favourite thing on the entire internet.

Jul 3 '14
The various steps of the dance of the toddler.

The various steps of the dance of the toddler.