November 30, 2009
Celebrities and their lesser-known rap alter-egos

Nathan Fillion: Nate Fillionaire

Morrissey: Last of the International B-Boys

Paula Abdul: MC Skat Kat

Daniel Day-Lewis: DJ D-Day (Lewis)

Daniel Dae Kim: DJ D-Dae (Kim)

Nicolas Sarkozy: Nicnic, Le Gendarme D’Amour

Will Smith: Will Smith

8:42am  |   URL: http://fuiru.tumblr.com/post/263478503/celebrities-and-their-lesser-known-rap-alter-egos
(No. OF NOTES: 6)
  
November 28, 2009

marleymarley:

Oh hai Cabernet sauvignon didn’t know you’d taken control of my brain/everything so soon…

Crap, I’ve been away today. What did I miss?

11:38pm  |   URL: http://fuiru.tumblr.com/post/261586939/marleymarley-oh-hai-cabernet-sauvignon-didnt
(No. OF NOTES: 20)
  
OH MY GOD WHAT IS GOING ON?

A penguin thing and that yellow Pikachu thing just had a FIVE MINUTE CONVERSATION but all they can say is “Squeak” and “Pika”! So it just went like this: “Squeak?” “Pika!” “Squeak squeak!” “Pika!” FOR FIVE MINUTES!

Does this come with subtitles for those of us who don’t speak cartoon-animalese?

1:02pm  |   URL: http://fuiru.tumblr.com/post/260942932/oh-my-god-what-is-going-on
(No. OF NOTES: 7)
  
I'm watching Pokemon cartoons right now

Holy crap, it’s like fucking advanced level quantum physics or something. Did David Lynch direct this?

Big fucking monster appears out of nowhere, good guys attack him and it has no effect, so they’re all like “he must be using the gammafield repulsor light shield to protect him” and I’m like, “where the fuck did that come from? When was this mentioned?” and then some more monsters turn up but for some reason they side with the good guys despite everyone’s expectations, and we’ll never know why because they can’t talk.

Now for some reason they’ve all gone back in time. That should make things make more sense.

12:52pm  |   URL: http://fuiru.tumblr.com/post/260933337/im-watching-pokemon-cartoons-right-now
(No. OF NOTES: 7)
  
"You make me want to pick up a guitar and celebrate the myriad ways that I love you"

— Slow Hands by Interpol

12:00pm  |   URL: http://fuiru.tumblr.com/post/260885005/you-make-me-want-to-pick-up-a-guitar-and-celebrate
(No. OF NOTES: 17)
  
danhacker: Christmas light broken by Jerry L. That’s the most complicated Venn diagram I’ve ever seen.

danhacker:

Christmas light broken by Jerry L.

That’s the most complicated Venn diagram I’ve ever seen.

11:50am  |   URL: http://fuiru.tumblr.com/post/260875949/christmas-light-boken-by-jerry
(No. OF NOTES: 20)
  
November 27, 2009
Oh my God I just left my work end of year party before my boss

My God, I had no idea being married meant that you HAVE TO BE LAME AS FUCK.

8:17pm  |   URL: http://fuiru.tumblr.com/post/260084814/oh-my-god-i-just-left-my-work-end-of-year-party-before
(No. OF NOTES: 6)
  
FILED UNDER: bitterness this is why I can't have real friends 
Holy Crap

…And to think I was ashamed that the men’s toilets in work had signs telling us to make sure our discarded paper towels were put into the bins. I just saw my colleague’s computer screen, and she’s making signs for the ladies’ toilets.

My God.

“Urine on the toilet seat” this, and “used feminine hygeine products in the sinks” that.

They’re a bunch of savages!

1:40pm  |   URL: http://fuiru.tumblr.com/post/259717442/holy-crap
(No. OF NOTES: 5)
  
Bad Habits I have Acquired that will get me Hurt One Day

  • Putting the iron near my face to see if it is hot yet
  • Wearing an Ottawa Senators hat in downtown Toronto
  • Pointing and laughing at cars that double up as penis extensions, especially if they’re playing shit R&B at an ear-curdling volume
  • Straight gin
  • Trying on my wife’s jeans as a joke and finding they fit
  • Telling my imaginary friends that my wife’s jeans fit me

10:19am  |   URL: http://fuiru.tumblr.com/post/259546077/bad-habits-i-have-acquired-that-will-get-me-hurt-one
(No. OF NOTES: 16)
  
Okay, I'm going to be a bit controversial now, and I make no apologies.

The best song that contains the word “Myriad” in its lyrics is Slow Hands by Interpol.

8:34am  |   URL: http://fuiru.tumblr.com/post/259472352/okay-im-going-to-be-a-bit-controversial-now-and-i
(No. OF NOTES: 6)