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Ex-Tabula Rasa

I shall try to define myself in a sentence with a pithy comment at the end:
I'm just an English bloke who lives in Canada after marrying a Canadian lady he met while living in Japan. Yeah, that old cliché.

Shameless Self-Promotion:
My utterly hilarious blog is here
And another one is here


Wow! I'm on Twitter now!
Averaging three stars a tweet since the death of Favrd!

Still Want More?
Email me for fun and frolics*! My address goes along the lines of Japanese (dot) smoth (@) gmail (dot) com. *Actual ratio of fun to frolics may vary.
Sep 7 '14
You know how smart people show off by playing many games of chess simultaneously? That’s what she does with shape puzzles.

You know how smart people show off by playing many games of chess simultaneously? That’s what she does with shape puzzles.

Sep 6 '14

She tells the scariest jokes

"Knock knock, Daddy!"
“Who’s there?”
[solemnly] “Nobody.”

Sep 4 '14

Anagrams!

cateyesbeesknees:

malackey:

pocketcuntents:

wordishness:

Reblog with the best anagram for your name. Sadly, mine is a very fitting Wives Hate ‘Trek’

Long Inhaler

Reinfect Junk

a nasty whelping

Him: Palish, Pliant.

Sep 3 '14
"Bear is trying to eat me!"
“Why?”
“Because I am delicious!”

"Bear is trying to eat me!"
“Why?”
“Because I am delicious!”

Sep 2 '14

Melon

She looks at the Ikea bookcase in the kitchen that we call a pantry (actually, we call it ‘Lentil Corner,’ but that’s a story for another day). She frowns.

"I want melon."

"We don’t have any melon," her mother says.

"I want melon."

"Well, there is no melon."

"I want melon," she says to me, because Mummy isn’t giving her melon.

"I want twelve hours of consecutive, uninterrupted sleep."

A pause.

"No, Daddy."

"Then no melon."

Aug 31 '14
I love everything about this beer. The shape of the bottle, the design of the label, and - most importantly - the liquid inside.

I love everything about this beer. The shape of the bottle, the design of the label, and - most importantly - the liquid inside.

11 notes Tags: beer
Aug 31 '14
To the person who gave my daughter the set of six Bathtime Fun Water Squirt Toys: I hope you’re happy.

To the person who gave my daughter the set of six Bathtime Fun Water Squirt Toys: I hope you’re happy.

Aug 31 '14
Audrey deals with the end of her frozen yoghurt in a mature fashion.  (at Menchie’s Frozen Yogurt)

Audrey deals with the end of her frozen yoghurt in a mature fashion. (at Menchie’s Frozen Yogurt)

Aug 29 '14

So how’s everyone else’s homemade deep dish pizza tonight?

Aug 27 '14

She’s only 2

We put her sunglasses and sun hat on her, and she looks in the mirror.

"SO STY-lish" she says. We’ve no idea where she got that from.

She turns to my wife.

"You’re SO STYLISH, Mummy," she says, and Mummy thanks her. She turns to me.

"You’re SO STYLISH Daddy," she says, and I thank her. She turns to my Father-in-law.

She pauses.

"Sorry, Granddad," she says.