Ex-Tabula Rasa

[I Totally Forgot to give this Post a Title]

“I’m back!”

“Oh good…did you get everything done that I asked?”

“Yes, here you go. Baking powder and icing sugar.”

“And…?”

“And…? That’s all you asked for. Baking powder and icing sugar.”

“Three things, Brian. I asked for three things.”

“No, there were only two things…baking powder…”

“Baking powder…yes…and…”

“…And icing sugar…”

“…And icing sugar…yes…and? What else, Brian?”

“…that’s it, two things…there was no other…oh.”

“Oh. Baking powder, and icing sugar, and?”

“And to not release the furious Gore Beast of Meth-Dagundath.”

“And to not release the furious Gore Beast of Meth-Dagundath, Brian. And what did you do, Brian?”

“I released the furious Gore Beast of Meth-Dagundath, Beverley.”

“Three things, Brian. I asked you to do three things. ‘Do you want me to write them down in a list,’ I asked. ‘Oh no,’ you said, ‘it’s only three things. I can remember three things,’ you said, Brian.”

“Beverley…”

“I’ve got twelve guests coming tonight, Brian, and they are expecting cake. And what they are not expecting, Brian, is the furious Gore Beast of Meth-Dagundath rampaging through East Caversham, splicing unsuspecting innocents with the Axe of Unrepentant Fury, sowing the seeds of fear with his pox of malcontentment. That is not going to help, Brian.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think…”

“That’s your problem, Brian. You don’t think. What are you going to do now?”

“I’m going to fetch the Sword of Bebb-Haxyon from the Chasm of Rotten Souls and reimprison the Gore Beast of Meth-Dagundath by impaling its lower jaw.”

“You’re going to fetch the Sword of Bebb-Haxyon from the Chasm of Rotten Souls and reimprison the Gore Beast of Meth-Dagundath by impaling its lower jaw. That’s right, you are. And Brian?”

“Yes, Beverley?”

“I’m out of eggs.”