Ex-Tabula Rasa

Exhausted parent goes to Starbucks: The Return of the Return

“Hi, welcome to Starbucks! What can I get you?”

“Last week I wrote two blog posts that were transcribed conversations with a Starbucks employee. In them, I exagerrated my need for coffee in an attempt at humour and also to convey the tiredness I was experiencing as a result of my five month old daughter’s current poor sleep habits.”

“I see.”

“These posts were composed in my head as I was getting up in the morning after the terrible nights of sleep.”

“Go on.”

“The latest fictional Starbucks-located conversation was already fully composed in my head at 3:30 this morning. This should give you an indication of my current level of tiredness.”

“I see. Would you like me to provide you with a comically oversized container of coffee?”

“Actually, no. I’d like you to beat me around the head with one of those plastic breakfast food display items until I stop moving.”