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Ex-Tabula Rasa

I shall try to define myself in a sentence with a pithy comment at the end:
I'm just an English bloke who lives in Canada after marrying a Canadian lady he met while living in Japan. Yeah, that old cliché.

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Posts tagged leonard cohen

Dec 15 '12

2012 in Review: Reunions and Reformations

If 2012 was the year of anything, then it was the year of the reunion. More so than in previous years, it seems that in an entertainment sense, people were getting back together, putting old differences aside and taking huge bags of paper money to their local bank while cackling and cackling and cackling.

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Only last week the remaining living members of The Beatles reformed for a one-off charity concert, with all surviving members performing with the exception of Ringo Starr, who had lost his keys. Starr was replaced by the demon from that Tenacious D video, and Krist Novoselic of rock band Sweet 75.

In February, talk-of-the-town indie band Catamaran Tragedy split up days after releasing their debut album, Where Did I Put My Spiders. Citing creative differences, all eight members immediately embarked upon solo projects. Sixteen minutes later, they reformed and announced a world tour in which they’d play…Spiders in its entirety. The tour sold out within two hours and earned the band one trillion dollars.

One of the most hyped reunions of the year was the Trapped Chilean Miners who got back together in the summer and toured deep holes in four continents. The one exception, Mario Ticona, was absent due to a disagreement about shoes.

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To celebrate the 25th anniversary of The Princess Bride, the cast of the film reunited and robbed a bakery.

In May, after more than six years apart, Leonard Cohen reformed. “I was always confident I could put my differences behind me,” he told a nearby goat, “I’m glad I was right.” Cohen was reluctant to give the reason for the initial split, but insiders insist it has nothing to do with them.

Apr 22 '12

Men in Black

  • Man in Impeccable Black Suit wearing sunglasses #1: Mister Mayer.
  • John Mayer: What? Who are you? How did you get on my yacht?
  • Man in Black #2: Mister Mayer, our records indicate that you have never recorded a cover version of Leonard Cohen's song Hallelujah.
  • John Mayer: Get off my yacht! How did you get here? We're in the middle of the sea!
  • Man in Black #1: Mister Mayer, don't make this difficult. Please acknowledge whether my colleague's assertion is true.
  • John Mayer: No, I've never recorded Hallelujah. It's been done to death. Everyone's covered it. Why would I do my own version? No.
  • Man in Black #2: This is a very nice yacht, Mister Mayer.
  • Man in Black #1: A very nice yacht indeed, Mister Mayer. It would be a shame if something happened to it.
  • Man in Black #2: ...While you were sailing on it.
  • Man in Black #1: Accidents happen, Mister Mayer.
  • Man in Black #2: Perhaps you should rethink your attitude to covering Leonard Cohen's graceful and serene song Hallelujah, Mister Mayer.
  • Man in Black #1: You never know what might happen otherwise, Mister Mayer.
  • John Mayer: I...I...but...
  • Man in Black #1: We'll let ourselves out.
  • John Mayer: But...we're in the middle of the sea...
  • Man in Black #2: [to MIB #1] Who is next on the list?
  • Man in Black #1: [to MIB #2] Billy Ocean.
  • Man in Black #2: Excellent.
Oct 13 '10

Things that annoy me

In his famous song Suzanne, Leonard Cohen sings (well, intones): “Jesus was a sailor/ when he walked upon the water”.

No he wasn’t, Leonard! He was a pedestrian! The clue is in the bit where he’s “walking”!

Now, if he was on a boat, perhaps strolling along the deck while wearing a hat and pointing a telescope at some seagulls, then he’d be a sailor. Catching scurvy while avoiding pirates? Definitely sailor material! Sitting in a coracle, crying because he doesn’t know how to work a coracle? Hell, even that’s more sailory than walking across the water! But just going for a saunter over the waves? That’s not being a sailor. That’s being a pedestrian.

And don’t get me started on that bit about a lonely wooden tower and drowning men being the only men to see him.