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"Hi, welcome to Starbucks! What can I get you?"
"Last week I wrote two blog posts that were transcribed conversations with a Starbucks employee. In them, I exagerrated my need for coffee in an attempt at humour and also to convey the tiredness I was experiencing as a result of my five month old daughter’s current poor sleep habits."
"These posts were composed in my head as I was getting up in the morning after the terrible nights of sleep."
"The latest fictional Starbucks-located conversation was already fully composed in my head at 3:30 this morning. This should give you an indication of my current level of tiredness."
"I see. Would you like me to provide you with a comically oversized container of coffee?"
"Actually, no. I’d like you to beat me around the head with one of those plastic breakfast food display items until I stop moving."